Packing... again

Well this must be short because I have lots to do before Friday. I'm moving, again.

I'm really excited about this new apartment. It's adorable and in a great location! But I'm not stoked to be going through the moving process again. And it's making me wonder what is going on in my head that I can't seem to stay put for even a year. Does it mean it is time for me to leave Denver at the end of this year? Or does it mean that I just need to commit... to something? I know I want to start taking classes in January but I don't yet know if that will happen here or somewhere else. I don't really like limbo but I keep putting myself there and I'm starting to wonder why.

What am I waiting for?


Enough pondering. I better get back to packing!!! EEK!

Changes, changes, changes!

I've been toying with the idea of change for a few months, multiple changes to be exact. This week some actual change occurred. First, my dog moved into his new home. His new place has a huge backyard and lots more space inside than I've had in years! He was a little sad to see me go but I think he will be super happy with the new arrangement, especially considering he already likes his new "mom". And how am I handling my "empty nest"? I've been kind of avoiding my apartment, actually. It's weird to be there without him. In some ways its a lot easier to do things, like walk; but it's odd not to have company for a movie or when I'm sleeping. So... I'm moving! [Do I run away from things or what?!] Seriously though, I don't really care for my current neighborhood and I was trying to decide if I would stay or go from Denver...

Josh saying goodbye to Simon. Sniff, sniff...



On for the second change that occurred this week: I had a phone interview for a job in Iowa and shortly thereafter decided that I'm not ready to leave Denver. I had not realized how hard leaving here would be! I have a ton of friends here and we're not just talking "acquaintances". These are true friends that are there for you when you're down or supportive when you are working on a big decisions or just to hike with, have a beer with or chill in grubby clothes after a long day. That is hard to come by... and leave, especially such a big group! So I decided to reassess my finances and look for a short term, less expensive apartment. I found one on Craigslist the first day I looked. I looked at the apartment today and I will not be seeing any others. It's perfect! The location is just blocks from two friends' home and therefore, closer to all my girlfriends, on top of being a much nicer location anyways. The price will save me a good amount of money without losing much space. The apartment is nicely kept with fresh paint and new carpets and cabinets. And it's a sublease for a girl that is moving into a house with her fiance' and the lease ends at the end of the year. Perfect. She and I agree and now we just need to go through the official channels. I'll be moving in two weeks. (Anybody wanna help?? :D )

The other thing, that I had decided a few weeks ago is that I will be starting school in January. Now I have a place to live until then. Between now and then I have two major goals: to find a second job to help get my finances ready for school and to figure out where I'm going to do this schooling (Iowa with a new job or Denver).

That's all the major stuff that I have going on. Oh and I'm supposed to go on a first date on Tuesday...



Ah, the adventures of Jen...

Funny story

So the past week or so has been entertaining to say the least and while I have many stories, right now there is just one I want to share.

A very good friend of mine is moving back to Denver (YAY!) and she decided to drive her apparently old, non-air-conditioned car the 1800 miles it will take to get here. She was telling me how she was going to drive 12+ hours days and get the trip done in two days, which originally would have put her arriving today. Well, she didn't get started driving until last night due to a variety of things, including super hot weather so I wasn't expecting her until tomorrow at the earliest. And no big deal really- I'll be excited to see her whenever she arrives! I called her a few times last night to check in and keep her entertained on the road. At one point she tells me that she doesn't think she will make by Wednesday night. My response is that I'm not surprised and didn't expect her until Thursday because of how late she left. She then says, "You are going to laugh at me. Part of the reason I won't make it until Thursday is because..." wait for it... " i have a date in St Louis". Yes, you read that correctly, she has a date during her road trip!!! OMG!!! I had a friend tell me once that you shouldn't drive more than 1000 miles for sex but stopping on a road trip for a date (no sex!)- unheard of! At least in my world. It's not like she is on a fun, sight-seeing road trip- this one is quick and to the point so she can start school and work. But on the other hand she has no reason to rush, so when a guy she knows asked her to have lunch with him, no better yet catch a baseball game, since he'll be visiting St Louis while she's driving though, why would she say no?! And to top it off, another guy wants to meet up with her after the game! Neither of these two fellows live in St Louis, they just happen to be there at the same time as her. I'm speechless (well apparently my hands aren't) all I can do is laugh! And I'm still laughing about it!

This girl is a riot and I love her to death! Life in Denver is about to get much more entertaining! Can't wait!!

The silence...

It was a rather intense week with a variety of stressful things popping up. The previous weekend was busy with very little sleep due to some early morning activities. While many good things have happened in the past week too, I was ready for a quiet weekend. My dog is on a trial run with a possible new family so I'm all alone in my apartment. My only set plans for the weekend was a baby shower this afternoon, that I very much enjoyed. And it's raining... and gray... and rather cool... and I can't think of anything more perfect right now. The peace in the sound of the rain, the calmness of the gray skies, the lack of responsibility to anyone but me is all rather blissful right now. It's a rare moment. It is a blessing. And while I do feel a little lazy for not working on all the many things I need to be, I feel like I shouldn't pass up such a great opportunity. Peacefulness isn't a given; silence is a rarity; a two day weekend not completely planned is as refreshing a deep breath of cool, moist, mountain air.

*sigh*

Bliss.

Tomorrow I'll be busy cleaning, organizing, and catching up on bills and applications; but today I'm enjoying the silence.

I DID IT!!

I'm still finding it a bit surreal but I did it. I rode all 150 miles of the MS150 this weekend, every hill included- and there were some doosies!

I was nervous all last week. By thursday, I was freaking out. By friday, after my pup Simon had had another seizure, I was practically fighting off anxiety attacks when I thought about it. We're talking, when I got home from work, I broke down into tears. I did some packing and cried again. Etc., you get the picture. I IMed with Josh during my downtime at work and he gave me more pointers and reiterated some from before. Very good coach, that one! I had a carb-loading dinner with the girls and everyone told me I'd be fine again. I headed home to shower and sleep and sent my friend Matt a text asking for a pep talk. He was around and gave me my last bit of peppy advice that got me to the starting line the next morning. Not even sure what he said that was different or if he said anything different; might just have been that I needed one more person to believe in me. As my friend Evan told me last night after it was all over, I was the only person that doubted that I could do the ride.

Funny how we can get ourselves all riled up time and again, when all it really takes to get through something is a little faith in ourselves. It definitely helps to having incredibly supportive friends though. You should have seen the girls at the finish line. Andrea practically ran to me afterwards to give me a hug, both days. Brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it!

So thanks to everyone that believed in me! And thanks to all those that gave me pep talks, rode with me, cheered me on and supported me time and again as I made it through this journey.

Now on to the next big challenge of the summer- RAGBRAI!!

Motivation

I think we all know how hard it can be to pull ourselves out of a rut, whether that rut is 30 minutes long, 5 hours, 5 days, or 5 years. It's always hard to take that first step and not sit back down afterwards. I laughed as I was typing that because I soooo understand that. It seems safer to sit back down and it's soooo easy. Even though we know that we are happier, healthy, rejuventated, and get to experience success when we finally keep walking (or biking, as the case may be).

Tonight, my dog and I walk. Tomorrow, I ride and continue to ride according to the schedule I have made myself. The thought is almost as terrifying as it liberating. So funny. *deep breath*

Well... here we go.

Oh and don't wish me luck, this one I have to do on my own (but you are welcome to ride with me if you want!)

More on MS150

First I want to say thanks to all those that so quickly jumped up to support me on this adventure I decided to undertake. Your response has been really touching. Thank you! We finally had some nice weather at a time when I could enjoy it so I took my new bike out for a ride with my friend Amy on Saturday. 20 miles barely but it's a start!! As my training gets underway, I'm going to give the floor to my dear friend Kerri for a moment and let her explain in more detail why I am doing this ride.

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Hello All,

Some of you that read this letter know me, and others will not, but as Jen has shared with you, I was diagnosed with MS in November of 2002. I cannot begin to explain what a shocking revelation this was for me, as before this time, I had always had very good health. As a matter of fact, when the symptoms first showed up, I had just returned from a month long trip on my own across Europe.

It started with a slight tingling in my neck, and then within four months a tingling that ran down the entire back of my body. After 4 MRI’s, 1 spinal tap and a WHOLE lot of blood work, my doctor let me know that MS was the cause of my physical discomforts.

I am blessed with a wonderful support system of family and friends, as well as the best neurologist a person could wish for, but this physical opportunity is still a lot to deal with. The medication I began with required a shot once a week (with a 1 ½ inch needle!!) . I used to be absolutely terrified of needles, I got over it. My Dad was even more terrified of needles. He got over it too.

After the first year when I did my annual MRI’s, it turned out that I had new “burn spots” on the back of my neck in the area that affects my legs. Even before seeing these MRI’s I knew that things were not going as smoothly as we would want because I was so exhausted all the time. I also was having challenges when I tried to walk. I used to go for walks in the mountains, but I had one of my major “exacerbations” out there and was almost in a position where I had to ask my girlfriends to carry me back to the car. I tell my legs to move, and sometimes my left leg will just drag and I trip and fall. Then other times, I am holding something in my hand like a pen -and all the sudden my hand just throws it across the room without my willing it to be so. My personal philosophy is such that I believe that this is an opportunity to learn and grow from, but I will not deny that there are days that this opportunity can be quite humbling.

I started on a different medication (Rebif) in 2004. It requires me to take a shot 3 times a week. I have to structure my life with the awareness that whatever I do, I need to plan on having my shots with me. The medication has been working well very well, it burns when it goes in –but knowing the benefits that come from the shots makes it more bearable. I am getting ready to go on a trip to Spain and Morocco for 2 weeks. I know even just a decade ago I would not have been able to make a trip like this because without my shots, I would still be experiencing the extreme fatigue and decreased ability to walk. But because of all the amazing research that has been done, I have more freedom than I might have at any previous time. I cannot begin to tell you how thankful I am for that. In saying so, I must also say that I was amazed and honored when Jen let me know that she would be doing this trip in the honor of myself and my mother (who was diagnosed in 2007 and oddly, is not my biological mother.) I know that the money is incredibly helpful to the MS foundation, but it is not just that. It is knowing that there are people out there that care so much and are willing to try and help to make a difference. My thanks to Jen and all who support her on this venture, be it financially, emotionally, physically or prayerfully –and I believe all are equally powerful.

To finish, I want to say thank you to all of you who are willing to take the time to read this, and my best wishes to you all.

Namaste’

Kerri
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